Here is my timeline, the Facebook way!
1999: Emails started connecting me with people farther away in 1999
2002: Mobile phones made me reachable anytime , low cost sms extended that reachability further!
2005: Facebook made my Life more visible through the colourful and often deceptive facade!
2007: Smart phones jumped in to bring computing and networking in my hands. Android’s notification panel started pinging me all the f***ing time!
2009: I screwed myself by giving too much importance to mails and getting into the habit of thinking about every mail and responding immediately.
2012: Messaging services took communications and connectivity to the ultimate level of nuisance from 2012 onwards
Today: I feel tech-fucked!
Living in today’s society is akin to being a part of not just one, but many social networks, offline and…ONLINE! Various networks, catering to different needs, be it professional or emotional, and all of them, exposing some or the other side of our inherent, deeply embedded nature, strength or weakness, well, thats relative!
I can’t believe when I think about 2001-2002 when I neither had a Mobile Phone nor a consistently accessible internet connection. But I can believe that Life very much existed, we still had friends, we still chatted, we had a social image, the only difference was how easy it was to control these parameters of Living and how easy it was to find personal space and chose the way one wants to live and conduct himself. Well, I am not saying that we can’t today, everything depends on oneself, but it has definitely become more and more difficult.
It would be unfair to discuss only the negative side. The social networks like Orkut, Facebook, LinkedIn and now whatsapp etc have had a tremendous positive impact on our lives. Connecting us to old friends, making new friends, giving a vent to our political and social views, getting our businesses to speak more, generating leads, acquiring customers, networking with investors, keeping families closer, sharing our life experiences more and more….the list is endless!
I don’t want to sound as someone who is wise enough to pass judgements here on the advent of technology and its flip side, because I don’t think I am wise enough, I just want to pen down the pains that I have been through, my weaknesses that have been exposed and things I should have done differently during this online journey!
Today, I quit a social network, whatsapp, which had taken control of so many of the processes I am involved in, be it my friend circles (current, school and college), company chit chat groups, CRM and Tennis circles, family updates…what not! I won’t lie, as a half-techie I am a big fan of whatsapp and its simplicity and utility, I loved it for so many reasons. More than the network, I think, I failed to draw lines and manage the connections better, to bring me to this day when I had to quit it. Strangely though, I feel nice, relaxed and light! A feeling similar to the one I had when I had quit being a chimney! Only difference is people’s reactions to the two. Yes, its a failure at my end, as society for anyone is what he makes of it, so I am responsible. Hindsight, although not as good as foresight, but has been a great teacher for me. So, what were the reasons, what could have been different, I introspect:
1. Too many people, too much localisation, too little connectivity!
Big groups, a lot of chit chat, jokes, even porn, lots of Bday wishes…but after being actively involved for somedays I realised I didn’t feel connected to the individuals. They are or were my friends, but the chit chat on the groups wasn’t enough to re-establish any concrete viable connection. Most of the times, only 3-4 of the entire group will remain active, discuss things that others don’t even relate to, being reduced to passersby….so where is the connection?
And when I stopped getting involved, people raised eyebrows and then those typical comments start flowing in making me the villain of the group!
2. Company groups and individuals: Story of the good, bad and the Ugly!
It was a simple and brilliant idea of keeping coworkers connected all day, making it ridiculously simple to follow up with each other, quickly decide reactions and response to customers, give each other encouraging updates, with a dose of inspirational quotes in between and the idea worked wonders. I have seen management team arriving at some logical conclusions and academic teams solving problems together!
But as happens with any group, a good news just floats through and increases positivity but if something goes haywire, people, instead of doing something for, as a first reaction, share it on the group and everyone panics, even if they have no control or role in the affair being discussed! And when I say panic, I have been an observer of some serious panic, which takes the managers no where and creates chaos, even impacting the customers! Herd mentality, at its worst!
Even on the productivity front, sometimes I have seen these networks becoming an enemy of focussed problem solving as they engage people in so much of multitasking and that the focus on one task reduces. And the discussion and updates make people feel that everything is urgent, everything should be done right here, right now…oh man, that “ASAP” thing!
Another great thing about the social networks is they have on boarded people of all levels and helped them embrace technology. At the helm of a company, I have been able to stay connected with every level of my team, which is good, in fact, great! But only theoretically. On some days, I start receiving messages from early morning, and people expect me to react immediately as if its an SOS call! One day, when I went online, I saw a flurry of messages from a range of team members, everyone stating some or the other problem and expecting me to find a quick solution bypassing all the members who are supposed to do that. And the tone of communication changed, the small distance that is necessary in managing reduced to ashes! Even reading through it was an issue, forget about me solving them.
As a teacher, I loved being connected to my kids. But always tried to maintain some distance which I thought was critical for the learning process. Now my kids are everywhere, they love to connect with me, I love listening to them, but as happens in our society….the expectation of a quick response seeps in which is so hard to manage and then people start blaming you as if I was always supposed to read and answer!
3. Becoming too reachable 24*7, where is my own space?
I am not a believer of keeping the data connection always on, but then I tried to align with people around me as these networks became hubs for work management and I felt by being offline I will lose connection as people naturally assume that I would read everything as and when posted!
But then, slowly, as happens in society so many times, people started taking my availability for granted and my own space started to shrink! Whenever I tried to stay off, people and processes would force me come back in. Yes, I am the one who should have managed it better, but when people start counting the number of likes on their post and relating it to happiness and fame, passing decisions on anything and everything expecting people to agree or go to war….and when I try staying away, trying to pull me back, through various e-blackmails…I feel I shouldn’t have started at all!
I treasure my personal space, I love being alone, I love spending sufficient time on key decision making…the social groups turned me into a reactive moron at times who was just not thinking enough, only typing which has become faster than talking in today’s world!
4. The age old term of “Privacy”…goes for a toss!
Yes, privacy is a relative concept. And I should define my boundaries myself and not expect others to do it for me. But Can I expect others to understand my boundaries? How can I expect them to, when I know they sometimes become boundary less themselves!
I have seen my pics on social networks that I never knew existed, some embarrassing and some infuriating! I have seen people people coming and commenting on stuff they don’t understand changing the context of a healthy discussion. I have been exposed to various things social, round the clock and I have been a fool to keep myself updated unnecessarily, picking up my phone at every chance I get and flicking through the garbage information, and missing important ones in the clutter!
Yes, I have been a fool, and I have been my own enemy, the networks have just exposed my weaknesses!
5. Dumping grounds for negativity!
Lets accept, we have been enslaved by the internet! We keep growing helplessly at times and reading shit loads of stuff which makes no sense, adds no value! But I at least expected the groups of friends very close to me, to keep adding value to Life, positivity, knowledge and helping each other. But in a few days I realised these groups have also become dumping grounds of negativity that people carry inside! If you feel bad, type it, if you feel angry on someone, type it, you had a fight with your spouse, type it, you are pissed off with your country, type it…where is the time for the self, needed by people to sort out these issues, have these networks made us weak and dependent…turning us into online social cribbers?
No judgements again, I just felt I don’t belong here! These networks have just exposed what we humans naturally are, what our society as a whole is, they have amplified it in every possible aspect. Barring a few precious relationships, and the irony is, these relationships don’t need these networks at all!
I feel sad that by quitting, I will lose the positive impact of the networks, but I feel extremely happy that I can plan things at my own pace, take time and react, don’t feel like a slave to everyone, remain connected in limited and necessary manner through mails, messages, calls….because the social network effect just went over board for me, crossing my limits of being a social phenomena!
For now, I intend to be selective in using technology and internet, and making them to work for me, not the other way round! I intend to pick up my phone less, log out of garbage networks, connect to the internet only when needed and following a regime when it comes to working over the cloud, I intend to remain closer to myself than to others, giving others the much deserved space in the process. I have hit refresh and restart as tech has taught me to! I could have done so many things differently to avoid this sudden quitting, but I don’t want to think similarly in future! I love being a learner and a lesson learnt is more precious to me than my ego.
I hate cribbing, but thats what I have done here, thats what I wanted to do…I love taking issues under my control and thats what I am looking forward to!
If not 12, have been few years a slave, happy to break free and breath the fresh air :)
I quit…and I don’t intend to go back to smoking the network again!
