The Identity of Absoluteness
I was sitting in Purple Haze, young people all around, singing, joyous, sipping beer and having some mouth-watering snacks! Such is the environment of Bangalore. Its full of youngsters, lost in their lives, enjoying every moment available to them, dreaming big, starting up their own ventures and basking in the lovely environment of this happening city.
I was getting lost in the amazing songs being played, with pink floyd, metallica, cranberries, Rammsttein, doors, Nirvana, all my favorite rock numbers! Suddenly my ears caught another dominant sound. This time it was a group of youngsters who were head banging on the numbers previously, and now, they were shouting: “IIT Bombay, IIT Bombay!!” Suddenly, people looked around and the focus shifted to these young guns. Wow!! They had an identity now; they were recognized in a crowd of the unknowns and the unfamiliar. The identity was that of their alma mater which is one of the most famous Institutions in India. They were suddenly identified with some of the best in the country. And I thought, just 5 minutes back, they were no one, of no importance to people sitting around, and look at them now…I sighed and immersed myself into rock once again!
I remembered my IIT days when we used to search for an opportunity to tell people who we are, what we have achieved, be it by shouting slogans, Institution name, by wearing Insti T-shirts bearing the attitude statements etc. When I passed out, I started doing a job, of course, what else I would have done, that was the trend. After six months I realized I was losing my identity and then I embarked upon yet another journey with my friends and started up my own venture- Lakshya! Within 1 year Lakshya became a name to be identified with, be it for us, team members and for our kids. We started hearing songs that became Lakshya anthems and our students started sporting the new young brand of Lakshya. Yet another group identity!
When we are proud of our nation we identify ourselves with her name and shout: India!!! India!!! When we are proud of our team then we shout the name of the same and immerse ourselves into yet another identity. This search for identity dates back to our birth, when we were given a name and everyone identified us by the same. We went to school and identified ourselves with another name.
I wonder, is life about attaining different identities and getting recognized by them? Can’t we live without being identified? Are these identities mere tags or they come with their own burden of expectations? Because I belong to so and so family, I must behave in such and such manner. Because I went to this famous school, I must achieve something, produce a rank somewhere, win some trophies and behave in a dignified manner. Because I got a good rank, went to one of the Top 10 Grad colleges, I should start thinking different and do something, which brings honor to my College. Because I am so capable now, I should start something of my own and spread a wave of a new identity!
Is this a race of identifying ourselves with other tags and getting identified in the crowd of Mortals! Even after having so many identities, are we able to identify ourselves? Just a simple question: Who am I? A boy from a famous family, a student of a great school, a fellow of a popular University, an employee of a huge corporate, founder of a young company, who am I? Am I one of these or am I just myself?
When I sit alone and think about myself, suddenly all these tags fade away and I start wondering about an identity which resides deep inside of me, with which I can relate myself to. Has it become too overshadowed by these worldly tags? Has it lost its voice in the noise of the mob? Or she can still talk to me and tell me who am I?
I close my eyes and my thoughts move into the deep realms of my soul and passing through all the superficial my selves I reach a place where there is no external influence, where there is no expectation, no identity gifts, no one else. There is just myself. When I visualize myself from the outside, it’s a soul inside a body sitting in a sparsely lit room in an apartment of a huge city, bigger country and a much bigger planet. As my vision recedes further away into the space my planet seems so small in the Galaxy, my country even smaller, my city almost nothing and then I find a microorganism residing in a small hole and that organism is me. Now I try to identify myself and I find that I am nothing in this huge dynasty of Nature.
Everything else fades away and suddenly I find myself happy. I smile and my spirit feels rejuvenated and alive. Everything that I am, feels free from the clutches of relativism and I start residing in one real truth: Absoluteness! Every other truth becomes virtual and fades away in the dungeons of the Relative world. My happiness is absolute, no one can take away things that are absolute, and no one can snatch this identity from me. An identity of a blissful spirit in this serene nature!
Life is not a race of identities, it’s a beautiful journey which begins with nothing and ends up at nothing. In between there should be happiness in one self, in whatever we do. Lets stop searching for our identity in others’ eyes and start living a Life of Absoluteness from today.
....Saurabh (18 Sept '11)
